Zellers Rant!

I try to avoid Zellers.

But occasionally against my better judgment I do shop there. Not every Zellers experience should be a bad one right? I shop like any red-blooded male…with a goal. I go in. I get. I leave. But once again I must ask for help. It’s actually become a trend. Ask, then ask again. This time, after an unwanted tour, I find the item. Unassisted.

This location boasts five checkouts. Only two are working. The lines are long. Price-checks have been called at both. Nothing is happening. No one is moving. But this is typical. This scenario plays out every time I visit. This is why I don’t go often. Today, I spot red-and-black-uniforms talking in a corner. Oblivious.

Note to Zellers: turn this around before it’s too late…Actually, I think it is too late.

I stare at the checkout girl in front of me. No smile. No greeting. Just a staccato strung together “do-you-have-an-HBC-Rewards-card-or-would-you-like-to-sign-up?”

Note to self: Don’t shop here again. Not for anything. Ever.


“Well-here’s-the-reward-points-you-missed-today.” She circles the receipt in an angry red. It glares at me.

I’m leaving. The automatic door is broken. I help someone open it. Once outside I notice the faded red ZELLERS signage and the words “Uniquely Canadian” painted above the door. And I wonder at the irony.